Today I awoke to a new year. I'll call it twenty-four.
So, here's who I am at 24.
If I could have a constant supply of anything on earth, it would be fresh flowers and rugs. As much as I tell my husband that I am "not a flower person", there's nothing like a vase of fresh flowers on the table. Perhaps this is enough to make me a flower person. And rugs? How beautiful are they? I mean, really... I'd love to cover more of the flooring in this old, little blue house. (Preferably those that a little red dog hasn't attempted to consume.)
At 24 I think there is nothing kinder and more profound than smiling at a stranger. Nothing. I am going to try to do it a lot this year.
I feel beautiful at 24. I've struggled with feeling beauty, well, for a lot of my life. But there is nothing like being married to give you a self-image boost. When I wake up with messy bangs and squinty eyes, Danny tells me I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. And I believe him. I actually believe him. So at 24, I am feeling beautiful in my own skin. For perhaps the first time ever.
At 24, I still desperately need my mother. I almost lost my mom this semester. I was so afraid I would be left an orphan. Who would I call w
hen my baby wouldn't stop crying? What would I do when I forgot the banana bread recipe for the thousandth time? Who would I scour the Target clearance racks with? Who would I call when I didn't know how to soak beans overnight? All of those things and many, many, many, many more went through my mind for days. I was so scared. And I struggled through it with my big sis & husband by my side. That week rocked my world. So at 24, I love my momma & I am so thankful she gave me life.
I feel as if I can change the world. I don't have a good grasp on reality and idealism mostly rules my life. And I really like it that way. So, who knows, maybe I'll change the world at 24. Or maybe I'll change one person's world. That counts.
At 24 I will fall even more madly and deeply in love with that man who I call husband. I never thought life and marriage and love could be so good. At 24 I will love Danny with all that I am. I will receive his love and offer it with abandon. I will serve him and allow him to serve me and it will be even more beautiful than last year. And we will be open to any new adventure we're presented with.
At 24 I will graduate. Just the thought of that day has brought me to tears a few times now. These past 3 years have stretched me the most in just about every way possible. The thought of it ending is both beautiful and tragic. I love to learn and my relationship with God looks different than what I ever thought. I feel like I know so much, yet I know so little. All I know is that I love to love God with my mind. It's wonderful.
At 24, my life will be sweeter and fuller than ever. I will laugh and light candles often, even the really good smelling ones that I don't want to run out. I will not worry and I will pray. (oh, will I...) I will be light hearted and not take myself too seriously. I will smile at strangers and love them as myself. I will eat and not count calories. I will be joyful, regardless of circumstances. And just like last year, I will appreciate my life because I think God would be pleased to know he gave life to someone who enjoys it.
24 hours make a full, whole day. So for this year my goal is to make each day a full, whole day. Here's to the first of 365.