So. Today is my last day of school for a whopping 3 weeks. Can't think of a better ending to oh-nine. As I celebrate turning in my last little ministry paper today, I invite you to do a little reading of it for yourself.
Especially for those of you in ministry, this is for you...pastoral health is something I couldn't be more passionate about. And while this poor paper got the leftovers of me, I still think there is some good stuff in here.
Dear Prospective Pastor,
Welcome to the ministry! Did you know that of 1,500 pastors leave the ministry monthly due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches? I realize this might seem like a lofty statistic to live up to, but with a little help and guidance you can easily fit in with the rest of these pastors, ministry directors, and youth workers. The next few years (if you can make it past two) are going to be quite the adventure, so you’ll want to prepare yourself as best as you can. So sit down, put on your seatbelt, and weave your way through this crash course on ministry failure. Consider this letter a “how to” guide to help you along the way.
Keep Your Hands Clean
It won’t take time at all for you to realize that people are…well, messy. They all walk into your congregation with their own individual baggage. It’ll come in all shapes and sizes, from of a fancy Coach purse or a beat up duffle bag. Then your church members will walk right up to you, dump the contents at your feet, and expect you to sort through it all for them. Whatever you do, don’t.
Building relational barriers may seem a bit apathetic or callous, but what do these people expect? You are already putting yourself in danger of the swine flu and common cold each week by shaking these peoples’ hands. They can’t really expect you to get your hands dirty by helping them on their spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical journey as well! It is reasonable to shake hands with those in your congregation, but let’s leave it at that. Keep your distance.
You Are an Island
Don’t be confused by the High School Musical theme song: “We’re all in this together!” You may or may not have a staff surrounding you, but what difference does it make? You’re the pastor and, therefore, the church is in your hands alone. They say, “no man is an island”, but a pastor must be.
The more work you do on your own, the better. It’s not only good for your church, but also for yourself. The more you do the more “holy” people will think you are. So get to work before the secretary, leave after the custodian at night, and make sure you do all the work. From making copies and preparing the church bulletin, to trimming the hedges and refilling the first-time-visitor cards- recognize your self-reliance. Remember: God may work in three’s, but you’re only human.
Don’t Have a Sabbath (The 60-40 Workweek)
We all know the commandment to rest on the seventh day. Exodus 20:8-11 states, “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” Sure God took a day of rest, but he didn’t have to go back to work on Monday. Newsflash: you, perspective pastor who is reading this, do.
The best advice I can give you on this issue is to do whatever you can to refrain from putting those feet up on the coffee table. It shouldn’t be hard. After all, with everyone wanting your attention, time, and prayer on Sundays, there is hardly a moment to slow down. As for the rest of the week, just make sure your calendar is as open as possible. Do whatever you have to do to fill your time with staff meetings, counseling sessions, teaching classes, one-on-one meetings, sermon preparation, and surfing the bluefishtv.com website. The less space on your “to-do” list, the more you’re working for God. There is so much work to be done and you’re the person to do it. Consider this a swift slap on the butt. Get to work.
The Perfect Body
We’ve already established that the more you do, the better. But what does this look like practically on a Sunday morning? Well, consider this schedule as a model. Get to church at least an hour early and go to a room by yourself to pray (holding, of course, your own hand). Once you’re ready, go turn on the house lights and do a quick sound check of yourself. If you need to, tune your guitar. Once the auditorium fills, lead everyone in worship. Just make sure you turn off the monitor before you give your message to avoid getting feedback. (If you do- no worries…just put the congregation on hold and run to the back to alter the sound.) Then, give the weekly announcements, run up and down the aisles getting the tithes and offerings. You may be a little out of breath after this, but half way through your message you should be okay. Then you can wrap up your message, sing one more worship song, give the benediction, and run to the back of the room to open the doors for people as they leave.
Some might want a role to play on Sunday mornings, but do your best from allowing them to participate. Trust me, it’s really easy to create unity in the church body when you’re the only one who truly belongs to it! You’re not prideful; you’ve just got all the spiritual gifts. Bravo for you!
Prepare Your Sermon, not Your Soul
Now, onto that little leather-bound book. 72% of pastors state that they only study the Bible when preparing for sermons or lessons. This may shock some, but you probably got a taste of this yourself while in seminary. After all, not many people are going to hold you accountable for your personal studying and devotion. On the other hand, your entire congregation is holding you accountable to your sermon. If people don’t come up to you after the service with tears in their eyes saying, “That was a great message, pastor!” then you’re probably doing something wrong.
Take Long Walks on the Roof
Yes, that’s King David I’m referring to. Setting: One evening he found himself alone and decided to go for a little walk on the roof. Enter: Bathsheba bathing. David: jaw drops and sends messengers to retrieve her. They commit adultery. Exit: Bathsheba. End scene.
Adultery and other forms of sexual sin have a very high ranking in reasons for pastoral failure. You’ll be in the office at late hours so this should provide adequate time for you to have a “typo” in your web browser or find yourself in compromising situations with your secretary. You’re already on an island, so just continue to make sure there is no one holding you accountable in this department.
So there. Those few points of advice should help you along this process of ministry burnout and moral failure. But on the off chance that you’d actually like to succeed in your call to pastoral ministry, allow me to shed a new light on these same topics.
Get Your Hands Dirty
While it is true that you shouldn’t have to sort through the baggage of each of your church members, you must be willing to get your hands dirty. Jesus gave us the most profound and memorable example of this in John 4:1-26. The Samaritan woman was perhaps the “dirtiest” woman in her culture. And yet Jesus shares an intimate conversation with her, resulting in her eternal salvation. Jesus wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty and neither should we.
All members of the body of Christ belong to one another, minister to one another, need one another, and contribute to the rich unity and ministry of the whole. You, as a member of the church body, have the same role as the rest of the community. We are to build one another up and sharpen one another as iron on iron. If you keep your hands clean, you will be missing out on one of the most profound and unexplainably beautiful roles of the Christian community.
No Man (Even a Pastor) is an Island
It isn’t uncommon for pastors to become lost in their role. The church’s expectations of ordained ministers are exceedingly high. When a congregation expects perfection in every area of your life, it is hard not to revolve your life around making this appear to be true. Harbaugh states, “The open-endedness of parish demands and the busyness of the pastor can tempt pastors to continue going through the motions long past the time when they need to stop and be personally refreshed. In other words, self-denial, taken to the extreme, leaves little room for healthy self-care.” When a pastor becomes an island, regardless of having good intentions, he or she is quick to experience spiritual burnout.
When a supportive, loving community surrounds a pastor, he or she is not easily shaken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” Remember that you are first a child of God and second a pastor. You, along with the rest of humanity, are susceptible to sin and spiritual droughts. The creation of Eve as Adam’s helper is proof that God desires us to live in community with one another. It’s not a good thing for you to be alone, so why don’t you come join us on the mainland?
Go Ahead... Put Your Feet Up
It is sort of ironic that we have come to perceive the Sabbath as a burden. A day that is meant for rest and relaxation makes many people anxious as they wonder how they will be able to stop while the rest of the world continues around them. It takes work (no pun intended) to develop a Sabbath way of life, but it is absolutely possible.
The first necessity for pastors to develop a Sabbath is to realize they are not the Messiah. Are there nails in your hands and feet? No, I didn’t think so. But even if there are, even Jesus took time away to be with his Father (Mark 1:35). Your staff, congregation, and elder board can get along without you for a day. They might need to learn about the Sabbath just as you have, so be sure they are aware of the day you choose to Sabbath. Keep this day holy and sacred, set apart from the rest of the world. At first it may seem like a discipline, but it will soon become something you look forward to with great anticipation. Keeping the Sabbath day reclaims us, revitalizes us, and renews us. When we take the time to rest for an entire day, the fruit of our Sabbath will be evident in our personal lives as well as our ministry.
Just Hand it Over
First of all, let’s get one thing straight. You don’t have all the spiritual gifts. Great, now that that’s confirmed we can move on. We have gathered this idea from culture that the busier we are, the more important we seem to both others and ourselves. It can be difficult to delegate, especially when you may have a specific idea of how a project should turn out. However, understanding the two benefits of delegation should help you learn how to hand it over.
First, delegating a job to someone else frees you to accomplish your main responsibilities. The less on your “to-do” list, the more energy you can focus on what is most pressing. Marva Dawn says, “Lots of NOs are possible if we learn the YES to ceasing our need to accomplish, to determine our worth by our quantity of achievements.” Your worth derives from your identity in Christ- not your busyness or list of different roles.
Secondly, delegating means allowing another member of the church body to use their unique gifts to bring glory to God. Ephesians 4 gives a beautiful picture of the different members of the church body doing just this. Verse 11 says, “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” When we allow people to use their giftedness in the church body, we are allowing them to live out the unique way God apportioned them.
Prepare Your Soul Before Your Sermon
In Mark 12:29-30 Jesus reminds us of the first commandment: to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. If we do not seek this commandment as the priority of our lives, “our capacity to love God is diminished, no matter how good and honorable our intentions.” Likewise, our capacity to love those in our church is diminished. So we must learn to love God in these four aspects of who we are as a person.
First, we must love God with our emotions. This means having a healthy emotional life. Doing this requires the love, honesty, accountability of our friends and families. If we are to share in the emotional lives of others, we must start with the well being of our own emotions. Second, we must love God with our souls and the spiritual side of our beings. Taking time for your own personal study, devotions, and times of prayer are not an option. Third, we must love God with our mind. My best advice for this is to read, read, read. Pick up a book. Whether it is a biblical study book, a ministry book, a theology book, or even the newspaper, reading will keep your mind new and fresh. Lastly, preparing your soul also takes place in a physical realm. Eating right, exercising often, and sleeping adequate amounts are all things that will contribute to your overall well being.
When you take care of your soul first, your sermons and all other church—related work will simply overflow out of the work God is already doing in you. If there is any area to put yourself first, accept this advice as your front-of-the-line pass.
Protect Your Heart (Body & Mind!)
You may have received the title of “Pastor”, but that surely doesn’t include the fine print description of “immune to sin”. Willimon says, “A pastor must somehow be the Christian who is ordained to lead but also never lose sight that he or she is a struggling sinner, like all Christians, in need of the grace of God.” However, you need to know that you are held to a higher standard as a leader in the church. Your decisions and lifestyle should reflect this. Are you living above reproach, as stated in 1 Timothy 3? This includes protecting your heart (emotionally), body (physically), and mind (mentally).
Bill Hybels gives advice on how to endure long-term ministry. First of all, you must make your calling is sure and focused. If you’re going to enter ministry, you’ve got to be all in. If you can’t imagine ever resigning from ministry, then you’re in a good position. Second, you must have the courage to change. Those who have a quick way to check their motivations during times of trial in ministry stand a far better chance of making it through the long haul. Be self-aware and make sure you are regularly examining your life. Be transparent to yourself and to your spouse. Third, invite others along in this process. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, just as you are in fact doing.” Make sure there are people in your life who are not only holding you accountable, but are continuously spurring you on and challenging you. Last of all, and perhaps the most profound, is to have an eternal perspective.
The vocation you have entered is a calling God has placed upon your life. It is a great responsibility, but also a great privilege. There is no greater cause to be working for than to be leading people to salvation in Christ. Sure it may be messy, but well worth it when your church members are living out their faith by following in the footsteps of Christ. Your labor is not in vain, my friend. So get those hands messy, surround yourself with a support system, put those feet up, delegate, love God with all you’ve got, protect yourself, and enjoy the journey of ministry.
Sincerely,
Kaylyn Unterkofler – a youth pastor who needs to remind herself of this stuff daily.
