am thankful.

for marrying my husband in the year 0h nine. for his support, encouragement, and grace. for being beyond my dreams, wishes, and hearts desires. for late night laghing sessions and early morning coffee. for our puppy who has brought such joy into our hearts. for the ability to pay our bills monthly and give to others even on our tight budget. for little extras like dark chocolate bars and baby carrots and the good OJ and nail polish and unlimited texting and a date night here and there. for recipes gone good and the fun of married cooking and shopping. for our home and the small joys of having a full washer + dryer and double door fridge and centrail AC + heat. for our little Hondas making it another year and my macbook enduring another semester. for the wedding of my dreams and the friends who attended. for a trip to oregon to celebrate our husband + wifeness. for forgiveness and restored friendships and cups of coffee to talk over. for God's provision and sovereignty, even when times seem scary. for a job that allows me to use my gifts and for a staff that lifts one another up. for my family and postive results from chemotherapy. for answered prayers and the patience to wait for others. for my new niece who is strong and healthy and has the sweetest baby noises that I can listen to again and again on my phone. for students and the joy it is to serve them and watch them develop. for school + books + the things that keep me motivated to learn and grow. for food that stays fresh longer than it shoud, tire treads that stay deeper than they should, clothes that stay new-looking longer than they should, and bills that seem lower than they should (i know that is you, God).  and for carley block.

am so thankful for life and the One who gives it.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.


have a thankful thanksgiving.

our first week.

1 bottle of clorox disinfecting wipes, 3 rolls of paper towels, a max of 4.5 hours of straight sleep per night, 1 I'm sorry card to our neighbor, 3 newspapers as potty pads, 4 mop jobs, all rugs removed, a plethora of balls & monkeys & ropes thrown and retrieved, 2.25 pounds of raw ground turkey (gross.), 20 chewed toes, 20 nibbled fingers, 2 baths, 1 trial tube of dog-friendly shampoo, 5 loads of laundry, 3 blankets, 2 car rides, lots of kibble (in his bowl, on our stairs, and mysteriously in our pockets), 1 baby gate, over a hundred NO!!!'s, 9 completely ruind blinds, and 5 candles around the house trying to keep the dog smells away...

and we are still completely in love with our Denver.

photos.

Took some photos of one of my favorite families this weekend. It was a beautiful day spent with beautiful people. Here's proof.. If you'd like some photos of your family this season, please e-mail me at KaylynMachelle@gmail.com

no scarves in the kitchen.

The smell of burning hair takes me back to my childhood. My daddy was a UPS driver and had truck stops all over. He regularly delivered to one man and started to develop a friendship with him. (Is that right, mom?) My dad was a friendly guy and everyone loved him and wanted to be his friend. (Lucky me & sister...we had the cool dad!) Anyhow, this man knew my dad had daughters about the same age as his daughter and invited us all to her birthday party.

I actually have a vivid memory of the party. I remember the little girl, the way her hair was styled, her shy smile, and her cake. Oh, the cake. We did the typical birthday party games, presents, and happy birthday song. (Sidenote...I always feel awkward during this song when it's being sung to me. What are you supposed to look at? Your friends...your family...your cake? I always stare blankly at the candles feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Sorry. Besides the point.) I remember so well that this little girl bent over her cake to blow out her candles and, you know where this is going, her hair caught on fire. It was scary for me to see, but they got it out quickly and she was alright. Still, the smell of hair...ugh.

Well, last night the smell came back to me. Let me start this by saying I got a really cool scarf from a dear friend for my birthday. I love scarves. From Sep-May I wear them religiously, so of course I was sporting it yesterday. Well, Danny and I had a dinner party last night. (We love dinner parties. If you love them, too, please tell me and we'll have one together.) I was helping him stir the fettucine, leaning over the stove and, yep, my scarf caught on fire. I didn't even notice- Danny pretty much saved me by screaming and hitting at the flames. I was so shocked I just unwrapped it from my neck and we stomped it out. Luckily my dress didn't catch. But my hair, my poor hair. And that oh-so-distinct smell. Gross. Lucky for me our dinner guest is a hairstylist and she just so happened to have her scissors with her.

So I am here today to say I am alive. And that my scarf isn't. And that the smell of burning hair is just horrible. And that the lesson of the day is no scarves in the kitchen.

126-140

126.  holding a brand new baby.

127.  watching my mom be a grama.

128.  the feeling of biting down on a marshmallow.

129.  puppy breath.

130.  being called "auntie".

131.  seeing back row kids move up into the second row.  on their own.

132.  birthdays.

133.  walking downstairs to the smell of coffee.

134.  pumpkin scones.

135.  getting a haircut from my husband.

136.  a good pair of flats.

137.  inky pens.

138.  backgammon.

139.  strolling through Target.  even if the only thing I need is paper towels.

140.  coming home to a pup.

who i am at 23.

This morning I woke up to a new year. It's called 23. And I think I'm going to like it.

Before the year once again passes like the blink of an eye, I'd like to stop and remember who I am at 23. Because I'll never be here again. It'll pass, too, and I don't want to forget.

So, who I am at 23.

If I could have a constant supply of anything on earth, it would be lemon poppyseed muffins, method cleaning supplies, Hershey's special dark chocolate, warm smelling candles, minty chapstick, fresh mascara, and milky lattes.

I sneeze at least 10 times a day. Every day. I think 23 brings along allergies. It's okay...I sort of like sneezing. The runny nose, though...I could go without that.

I think I've figured out how to combat my frizzy hair. It's taken 23 years but I feel confident about the taming process. Finally.

I love grocery shopping. Always have, always will. But I really love it now that I'm married. Buying things like string cheese and more than one cereal box and, when we feel like a luxury, apple juice makes me remember that I'm buying for more than one.

I've made it to a point that I see my disease thorn as a blessing. It is a reminder of my need for rest and stillness and quiet. And I feel healthy and strong and alive. And yet it is a reminder that I must enjoy today for today and not worry about the future or my ability to have babies or run a marathon or have tan skin. His grace sustains me and that is enough.

My ministry is a blessing. All the time I am discovering new things about the way God has wired me. More than anything, my weaknesses keep me on my knees and I am more reliant than ever on the strength of God. I realize I simply cannot do it alone. I'm afraid I'll have to learn this lesson again next year (and next week, and maybe even tomorrow, too). But at 23 I am feeling balanced, excited, rested, and in anticipation of what's to come.

School is teaching me a lot. Mostly about God and people of the Old Testament and people of the New Testament and people of today. Who knew I could be so passionate about the Second Temple Period and the ethical ramifications of Genesis 2 and hospital ministry? Not me. But my mind is stretched and challenged and happy. I am still in awe of the opportunity I've been given. Year 23 will bring along a little trip to Wisconsin to meet the lovely people who blessed me with this gift. I can hardly wait.

Laughter. I have got to have it. Little chuckles and belly laughs and crying laughs. Luckily I married one of the funniest, most witty men I've ever met who gives me my daily dosage. We laugh at each other and laugh at ourselves. We laugh a lot and it is good. This must continue, even in the midst of term papers and my thesis and ministry mistakes and any other storm that will inevitably come.

Year 23 will bring along more photos. Life is too beautiful not to capture. It will turn from something that slips my mind to something habitual. And a slow iPhoto is no excuse.

Year 23 brings a big personal project. It will take dedication and obedience and perserverance and will also be very pleasing to me. Will tell you about that later in the week.

And year 23 will also mean lots of love. Love to give...love to receive. From God and husband and sisters and brothers and parents and nieces and newphew and babies and friends and family and puppies...oh yes, from puppies. And I will try to love these people well and hard and strong because it's not possible to love too well or hard or strong.

And I will smile. And smell flowers and notice the clouds and snow covered mountains and the brisk air of the morning and the feeling of warm coffee run through my body and take bubbly baths and hold hands and let the word of God soak into my mind and heart and soul and flow out into my actions. And I will appreciate the days I am given because I think God would be pleased to know he has given life to someone who enjoys it.

And this is who I am (and will be) at 23.

our weekend in nouns.

Uncle Danny. Auntie Kaylyn. Nieces. Cupcakes. Sprinkles. Necklaces. Books. Peng Peng the penguin. Chicken nuggets. Grapes. Tickles. Laughs. Kisses. Hugs. Bows. Coffee. Talks. Books. Hospital. Baby. Sister(s). Sleep. Pancakes. Jello jigglers. Kickball. Friends. Grocery. Mexican food. Movie. Apple pie + ice cream. Church. Worship. Small group. Denver. Kitchen. Crate. Bones. Kibble. Quiche. Homework. Cookies.

LOVE.

Austyn Rae was born on November 13 at 2 pm on the dot. She is teeny tiny, coming home at just 6 lbs 10 oz. And she is perfect. Just perfect. Her sisters are in awe. And my sis is a champ.

PS Uncle Danny is the favorite. Wa.

just like his mom.

Denver at 4:05 pm

Denver at 4:06 pm.

When we're tired, there's no stopping us!

I have lots of fun stuff to share with you this week.  Here we go...

today...

...am in anticipation for tomorrow.  It feels like this all over again.  Tonight D & I are driving to my parents so we can sleep over and be at the hospital first thing in the morning.  Plus, I am strangely excited to sleep in my old bed with my husband...you know, the bed I used to sleep in and lay awake in and dream of him in.

...am so thankful for school.  Right now I sit in class for 10 hours a day and the thought of next semester (14 straight hours) makes me want to cry a little bit.  But...am still so grateful for the opportunity to learn about God and how to be an effective minister and how to love people to a greater extent and to be supported by my peers.  So amazing.

...am so full of joy for Eri & Craig and their sweet baby girl.  She is just stunning.  Can hardly wait to meet her.

...am so excited for Denver on Sunday.  I think I'm going to have to re-think that whole no-dog-on-our-bed rule.  

...am praising God for my husband.  The man who calls me baby doll and helps me fold the laundry and makes me dinner on school nights and takes days off of work for my birthday and lets me get the medium coffee instead of bold and doesn't give me a hard time about not wanting to share dessert.

My heart is full and it's just going to get fuller this weekend.  So shalom to you.  Be filled with peace and joy as your weekend approaches.

our weekend.

"Were going camping now, we're on our way. We're gonna climb up this mountain, and run and jump and play! And when we reach the top we're gonna sing...Hallelujah to the King!"

Anyone else grow up on Psatly the Singing Songbook? A little freaky, but it worked for sister and I. 20 years later and I can still remember the tunes.

Danny and I went camping on Friday night with his our family. We barbecued, played Shanghai rummy (I won!), sat around the campfire with our hazelnut coffee, D & I slept on the top bunk, saw the bed-headed kiddos in the morn, watched Bolt (cute.), flipped lots of pancakes, bundled up, went on a bike ride, and played on a tire swing. And all of this just 30 minutes from our home. Made it just possible enough to come back home to do dinner Saturday night with my our family. Got to love on the girls, see my sister's pregnant belly for the last time (so she says.), eat some rockin Mexican food, blow out a candle, and open some great gifts. With baby Austyn coming this Friday we had to celebrate my birthday ten days early. Well worth it to spend time with the fam before our party of 10 turns into a party of 12 (pups count.) These things along with our visit to Denver (the dog, not the city) made for just a wonderful weekend.
Hope yours was just as sweet!

7 weeks.

Introducing 7-week-old Denver  What a sweetie.  The calmest of the bunch, but still playful.  He's such a fluffy, happy guy and we love him so much.  7 days and he'll be home!

The countdown begins, my friends...

hospital visit.

Warning: This post is sort of...gory.  So if you freak out at the thought of hospitals or dead bodies, just pass this one right on by.  There will be more on here later this weekend...like new pup pictures and birthday dinner pictures and stories from our first camping trip!  Sounds a lot better than what's to follow...

Yesterday for class we met at a hospital.  We learned from a Chaplain (Reverend Brenda...yes...a woman!) about hospital ministry.  You know...what to say, what not to say, how to approach people of different faiths, how to be invited to pray over someone, what you do when you're called in after someone has died, etc.  Stomach uneasy yet?  Yea, so was mine.

The Reverend shared a lot of experiences she has had.  Some were very practical to ministry, but some were also very personal to me.  Like the time 20 or so Muslim men were in a hospital room and called for a Chaplain...and here walks in little blonde-haired Brenda.  She said her heart was beating out of her chest, just as mine was beating as she told the story.  She said as she walked in all the men looked at her.  Do you know what they did?  They broke open their circle, let her in, held hands, and let her pray with them.  Amazing, I know.  Silly us for coming to our own conclusions at times.  She taught me a lot about being a woman in ministry and, out of our own insecurity and fear, how we can be our own biggest roadblocks at times.  (There's a lot more here, but I'd rather not unpack all of that right now.)

Then she took us down to the viewing room.  This is the room in the hospital where you would go if your loved one has already passed, to say goodbye, pray, sing, etc.  It looked like a comfy living room so it didn't really bother me too much.  She talked about different traditions, like chanting over the body, anointing with oils, etc.  It really fascinated me because I don't know a lot about that.  (I still don't.)  Then she kept talking about the morgue and pointing to the door right to the left.  Oh yes, you know what's coming next.

"Anyone want to see the morgue?"  Call me disturbed but I did.  And so did about ten of my peers.  It was cold, sterile, and still.  There were the drawers you always see in movies and Grey's Anatomy, and the table where they do autopsies.  I know it seems weird, but I had such a strange peace in there.  I think I've always felt somewhat of a fear over dead bodies.  I think it's mostly because it is so evident that once someone has passed there is no spirit left..it's just an empty body, you know?  It's really so strange.  But yesterday it also brought me a sort of joy to remember we really do live forever outside of these bodies.  It is a good thing that the spirit of people leave their old, broken down bodies.

Then the Reverend started opening up drawers.  What?!  I didn't know this was part of the deal!?  That's what I kept thinking.  Luckily, they were all empty.  Except for one.  So glad there are body bags.  She explained to us the feeling of someone's skin once they have passed.  "You may want to just feel this man now, he died this morning but you'll get the point.  That way when you're at the bedside one day and someone dies, you won't be surprised by the feeling."  She started unzipping the body bad and I saw a white chest and then...I left.  There's no way.  Not ready for that yet.  But I made it as far as I did in there and for that I am proud of myself.

It was quite the experience she gave us in exchange for a hospital tour, thanks to the good ol' H1N1.  Guess I'll have to wait til next Friday to see the babies. :)

Anyhow, this post is mostly for me but also to share with you what I am learning and experiencing in seminary.  So grateful for the joy I felt yesterday in knowing that "the end" really isn't the end at all.

you've been put on the back burner.

Sorry friends, but you've been put on the back burner.  There have been some other exciting things that have been on the front lines of life.  Like studying and reading and writing.  And preparing a message for the youth on Matthew 25:31-46 (not an easy task...but God is good.  so good.).  And turning off my cell phone and closing my book to watch a movie with husband.  And baking.  Oh, baking...

But I'm back.  And in action.  And ready to share.

Earlier this week I whipped us up some pumpkin muffins.  I love fall because I love pumpkin.  I'll take it in muffin, latte, bread, pie, or pancake form.  Eating pumpkin is like pulling a warm sweater over your head or wrapping a scarf around your neck or putting on your favorite pair of socks.  Cozy cozy.  These little guys just hit the spot.  Here's the recipe.  Please say you'll make them!

From Gourmet Magazine 2006...

INGREDIENTS: 

1.5 cups all-purpose flour 

1 tsp baking powder 

1 15 oz. can solid-pack pumpkin  

1/3 cup vegetable oil 

2 large eggs 

1 tsp pumpkin-pie spice (this was a stocking stuffer I got from my mom last year...can someone please tell my mom that marriage does not make you exempt from a stocking!?!?) 

1.25 cups plus 

1 Tbsp sugar 

1/2 tsp baking soda 

1/2 tsp salt 

1 tsp cinnamon

Whisk together pumpkin, oil, eggs, pumpkin spice,  sugar, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl until smooth, then whisk in flour mixture until just combined.  Pour into muffin tins.  Then sprinkle cinnamon/sugar mixture over top.  Bake at 350 for 30 minutes, or 25 if you're like us and prefer everything a little under-cooked.  

Did I mention I believe this is going to be the best month of the year?  2 babes to be born, a pup to come home, a birthday to be had, lots of days of being thankful, pumpkin to be eaten, Christmas music to start continue, and decorations to go up.  Have been waiting all year to find the perfect place for these.  Put on your seat belts everyone, this month is going to be quite a ride.