mudbowl.

1 dairy

+

1 big hole

+

160,000 gallons of water

+

high school students

+

middle school students

+

leaders

+

the perfect saturday afternoon

+

fire fighters hosing us down

=

awesome.

PS yes that is my husband drowning in mud. and yes, he's still alive.

101-110

...because I keep thinking of more...

101 pregnant bellies (no- not mine.)
102 cinnamon in general. makes everything a little better.
103 a pitcher or lemonade
104 driving early in the morning when it's still dark
105 car games
106 expecting guests
107 Danny's funny comments/gestures in the middle of the night
108 night time showers
109 finishing a book (or 6)
110 speed scrabble (minus the whole I just picked up a Q but dont have a U thing.)

86-100

86 Paint in the color of Spanish Olive (also the special guest of our paint party tonight in the bathroom)
87 The smell of Danny's face lotion in the morning
88 Dog licks on my toes (but not on my face)
89 Bon Iver & blogotheque
90 the smell of lighting a match
91 the joy of turning in a paper
92 not getting mascara on your eyelids while applying
93 How He Loves Us on the new DCB CD
94 putting away a load of laundry (or 3)
95 a handful of almonds in the afternoon
96 smiling at a stranger
97 a stranger smiling back
98 sharing a vanilla latte
99 clean sheets
100 cinnamon graham cracker goldfish

we're back.

Hi, hey, and hello. We had such a wonderful weekend with our dear friends in Santa Cruz. We rested a lot, went out to eat, played at the beach, watched a really great movie that you all should see (I think we're all better people from watching it), had some good talks and good laughs, played speed scrabble, went to the flea market, walked around down town, and just enjoyed really great company. We came home on the 101 and it was such a beautiful drive. Wish you could've all seen the sunset. Also stopped in Santa Barbara and spent some time walking around. We hope to go back in February. Got home around 8:45 with a lot of love for each other, some dirty laundry, and a deep desire for a pup that we already have a plan for!

Any how, I've been wanting to share something with you all that Eri encouraged me to share (I believe she said it would change her life). Meal planning. We all love to hate it or hate to love it or have some struggle with staying within a budget, having a variety of meals, and shopping for the groceries. So I'd like to help a little bit, but only if you also promise to help me. Because while I love to plan and stroll the aisles of any grocery store, I'm still learning. And I've got a ways to go.

When I lived alone I would be quite content with a bowl of white rice for dinner. Sprinkle some soy sauce on that baby and I'd be good to go. But for some reason a bowl of rice just doesn't satisfy my husband. So I have quadrupled my grocery budget from $60 a month to $250. That might sound like a lot to you, but keep in mind we eat out maybe once a month. Other than that, all our food is cooked at home by yours truly (and Danny). Oh, and we really like to have people over. (hint hint)

We both like to know what's coming. I remember being a little girl and asking my mom after breakfast: Hey mom, what's for dinner? So I have a paper on my fridge that says what each day's dinner will be. I'm going to share it with all of you so you might be that much more inspired to plan out your meals as best as you can. I'll also list what food you'll need to buy. Most of it will be pretty standard stuff (in my opinion). And, of course, it will be nice to your wallet. That's important around here.

Monday - Mexican salad
You'll need: romaine, chicken, salsa, creamy cilantro dressing (or any of your choice...ranch works well, too), corn, crushed tortilla chips, romaine, tomatoes, shredded cheese, black beans, anything else you want to throw in there to make this salad a full meal...the more the merrier! You can also serve with little quesadilla triangles. Nothing like a good presentation.
Tuesday - Quiche
You'll need: 3 eggs, milk, 1 T flour, pie crust (we use Pillsbury pre-made ones), sausage (optional), parmesan, mushrooms (optional), s&p. You can really put anything in these things...they're great. I like to serve mine with a side salad or some french bread & brie.
Wednesday - Trader Joe's orange chicken, steamed rice & stir fry veggies
You'll notice a trend with our Wednesday meals. We only have a window of time to eat because youth group is on Wednesdays. So it is usually fast, easy, and partially frozen. :) You'll need: just what is listed.
Thursday - burgers & sweet potato fries & fresh fruit
Thursday is Danny's day to cook. I have school til 6 and usually sit in traffic for an hour, so by the time I get home dinner is cooked and ready to go. It's grand. You'll need: buns, burgers (him- beef, me- chicken), cheese slices (I guess this is optional, but not in my opinion), sweet potatoes, EVOO, fresh fruit (you pick), s&p, and any condiments you fancy.
Friday - apple-walnut cheese ravioli & side salad
Fridays are my fav. We usually cook together, take our time, and are usually accompanied with a glass of wine. Sometimes, just sometimes, we eat it in front of a good movie. You'll need: walnuts, EVOO, crispy apple, parsley, cheese ravioli, s&p, parmesan, romaine, tomatoes, and a dressing of your choice. Recipe found on Real Simple.

Please share with me what your family is eating this week. Okay? Lovely. That is all for this fine, overcast, cool day. Looks like we brought a bit of Santa Cruz home with us. Hip hip!

reason no. 2574 why i love my husband.

Because I will forever remember the way he looked at me as I walked down the aisle.

Well done, Thomas Ham.

We had a blast tonight.  Here are the answers:

1. Who’s hiding something?  Victoria.
2. What are the five essentials for fall fashion? 1- a cute sweater, 2- trouser pants, 3- comfortable denim, 4- a pretty top, 5- a little black dress (on the window display of a clothing store)
3. “Off the wall”.  Vans
4. Are you stuck in space or the 1950’s?  Johnny Rocket's
5. Don’t be confused- a fox doesn’t live here.  The Den Hair Salon
6. Jeweler and watch maker on premises. Le Vive Jewelry
7. Who has fake plants on display?  Hollister
8. You won’t find any fish swimming around here…or will you?!  Ra Sushi
9. Is your stomach in a knot? Try these!  Wetzel's Pretzels
10. What street will take you to both China and California?  City Center Drive
11. What number would you call to open your own fashion boutique? 1-800-420-8883
12. How many hand soaps can you buy for $10? 3
13. What store brings the east coast here? Ney York & Company
14. Where can you get a treat for every day of the week? Haagen Daz
15. Before Danny married Kaylyn, this store could be hers. Chico's
16. This guy knows diamonds are a girl’s best friend.  Jared
17. When you’re up late studying, try this seasonal treat.  Pumpkin Spice Latte (at Peet's)
18. Is it a tie or did we win?  Final Score
19. Don’t be a couch potato, get _____________.  Active
20. What store has red door handles?  Brighton
21. The number says it all.  Forever 21
22. Join the shopping adventure here.  Trader Joe's
23. How much are raspberries? 0.99
24. How long can you stay for a quarter?  15 minutes
25. Who knew fruit could be so political?  Banana Republic
26. Where can you be outside and inside at the same time?  The Yard House
27. “Eye” ♥ 30% off.  Lens Crafters
28. Safety first when it comes to these purses.  Harvey's 
29. What day is the “Asian Fusion”?  September 27
30. Which place is established in 1905?  Jos. A. Bank
31. Just look in the mirror.  Reflections
32. What are the four ingredients for a delicious treat?  Sugar, flour, eggs, & love (a billboard for the cupcake store)
33. No running through this store.  The Walking Co.
34. Definition: a pungent red pepper often pickled and eaten as an appetizer or added to meat stews, sauces, etc.  Chipotle
35. You don’t need to leave the country to find this bird.  American Eagle

scavenger hunt.

Tonight we are doing a special event with our middle schoolers. We're all meeting at the Shoppes in Chino Hills (an outdoor mall) and sending them off on a scavenger hunt. Who doesn't like a good scavenger hunt? Not me. I love 'em. So I made this one up. If you like them, too, please play along. I'll post the answers later! Look here for a list of what is in the shopping center.

Scavenger Hunt
Please Note: there is no need to enter any stores to answer these questions. All questions are taken from store’s names, advertisements, window displays, and other things found in the shopping area. Be sure to return to meet at 8 pm in front of Barnes & Nobles to see who won!
Remember…the winning team eats dessert free! Have fun. :)

1. Who’s hiding something?
2. What are the five essentials for fall fashion?
3. “Off the wall”.
4. Are you stuck in space or the 1950’s?
5. Don’t be confused- a fox doesn’t live here.
6. Jeweler and watch maker on premises.
7. Who has fake plants on display?
8. You won’t find any fish swimming around here…or will you?!
9. Is your stomach in a knot? Try these!
10. What street will take you to both China and California?
11. What number would you call to open your own fashion boutique?
12. How many hand soaps can you buy for $10?
13. What store brings the east coast here?
14. Where can you get a treat for every day of the week?
15. Before Danny married Kaylyn, this store could be hers.
16. This guy knows diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
17. When you’re up late studying, try this seasonal treat.
18. Is it a tie or did we win?
19. Don’t be a couch potato, get _____________.
20. What store has red door handles?
21. The number says it all.
22. Join the shopping adventure here.
23. How much are raspberries?
24. How long can you stay for a quarter?
25. Who knew fruit could be so political?
26. Where can you be outside and inside at the same time?
27. “Eye” ♥ 30% off.
28. Safety first when it comes to these purses.
29. What day is the “Asian Fusion”?
30. Which place is established in 1905?
31. Just look in the mirror.
32. What are the four ingredients for a delicious treat?
33. No running through this store.
34. Definition: a pungent red pepper often pickled and eaten as an appetizer or added to meat stews, sauces, etc.
35. You don’t need to leave the country to find this bird.

obligation vs. obedience

Hello, my name is Kaylyn and I am fully recovered from last week's meltdown. Thank you for listening and for the sweet e-mails and texts. I am back in action, but it didn't come until yesterday.

Our weekend was, believe it or not, an extension of our week. One thing after another, we were go-go-go. Have to go to worship practice, unpack, grocery shop, restock our cupboards, get gas, do homework, carry out an event for the youth group, babysit, Danny led worship, I ran cameras, family dinner, etc, etc, etc. In the midst of it all, we learned a very important lesson.

Obligation vs. obedience.

That was the phrase of the weekend. Danny reminded me of this Saturday morning when we woke up 5 minutes before we had to be at church and we were already dreading the long, non-stop day. Love, he said, we're not doing this out of obligation. But we're doing all of this out of obedience. Well said, sweetheart. And we reminded ourselves of that plenty of times throughout the weekend. Ahh...iron on iron. What a lovely concept.

Anyhow, like I said, this week is new and we are in much better shape. This is what's up with us:

-Last night we met with a financial advisor to talk about investments and the future and our budget and so on. It was a great meeting and we walked away knowing a lot more. It was strange telling someone all of our finances- checking, saving, salary, etc. But Danny and I talked about it afterward and reminded ourselves that it's not really our money anyway. Silly us. :)
-I haven't been sleeping so well. I've read about 5 books in the past 3 weeks and for some reason the best time to sort through it all is at 2 am. Shucks!
-We are really looking forward to this weekend. Danny is taking Friday off of work and we are going on a little road trip to see this lovely lady and her husband and her belly. It will be a much needed holiday.

Until tomorrow, dear friends. Have a smashing day!

welcome to our wedding

Dear self,

Don't forget these things...okay?

3 Significant Elements of a Call (& things that drive it)

-A sense of helplessness, not of arrogance
• Is it worth it? Yes it is.
• A sense of, “God, do I really belong here?”
• A sense of not being able to do it as good as somebody else (phew!)
• When you’re arrogant, that is when you will fall.
-A sense of willingness
• Just hanging out with people
• The power of presence
• You don’t have to be good, but just be willing
o Be willing to be around messy people
-A sense of “significantness”
• Knowing that what you do really matters
• (We’re not in it for money)
• Believing the parable of the sower and the seed (25% is good and 75% isn’t good)

Side Notes: Set up boundaries
• Am I giving Danny me emotional scraps?
• Is my heart for God growing or shrinking?
• Am I over committed and over connected?

The day I stop sensing these 3 things, I'll stop doing ministry.


(Notes taken from Jim Burns, guest speaker in Pastoral Servant Leadership class.)

on a postive note...

This video makes me very, very happy. I wish I woke up like that every morning...minus the mysterious man in black laying next to me. For now, my new phone has a "Good Morning" song that it sings to wake me up. That makes me pretty happy, too.

sad days.

The past 48 hours or so have been pretty gosh darn horrible for husband and me. I woke up at 3am Tuesday morning in some of the worst pain I've ever felt. Welcome to married life, please have a serious UTI. It was miserable for both of us. Then we had problems at the dr with our health insurance. Then waited forever at the pharmecy for my antibiotics. Then had our internet crash and we can't get a hold of help. And our townhouse is getting fumigated tomorrow and Friday, meaning we need to get all our food and anything topical (lotion, soaps, meds, etc.) out of the house. Not to mention to pack our bags to stay at my father-in-laws house. And my books have yet to arrive so I can't finish my homework for class tomorrow. And. That's all. Just wanted to let you know where I was at.

God Almighty...God Almighty...God Almighty...

Monday morning.

The first night of youth group went great. It was strange at first not to have the (former) seniors there, especially because they were some of our core students. It will be good, though, to really build into and empower the younger classmen. We bounced, we worshipped, we played, we dunked, and we learned. So...we're all kicked off! God is good.

From September-December we are doing a series on the Apostles Creed. I am very grateful to have 3 men on my teaching team this year. As a woman in ministry, I think it is important to have male influence from the stage just as often as there is female. So that will be good. I am really looking forward to talking about the Almighty God this Wednesday night. I have a folder on my desktop with all my upcoming message topics inside. If God inspires me with a great illustration, verse, story, theological truth, etc.- it goes straight into that message's word doc. I love doing it this way because it keeps me thinking about sermons even when they're months away. Writing out a message is a definite process. Anyhow, this one in particular is one I'm excited about because the word document is just full of things God has been revealing to me for weeks now.

Sometimes pouring into the lives of students seems like this huge project- like building a house or baking a cake or something. It can be overwhelming until I realize my responsibility is to just be available for God to use me how he wants to use me. I don't have to be the builder or the baker. It's good to know I'm merely a tool in the midst of the discipleship process. (If I got to choose- I'd be those silicone spatulas that scrape off all the batter from the sides of the bowl...we love those things in our home.) That perspective keeps me on my knees a lot and reminds me that it's all about him.

And school? Well, the first day was fantastic. I walked away inspired, empowered, and feeling only slightly overwhelmed. Although this semester will be a lot, it will get done and at the end of it I'll be half way done with my M Div. I can do this. (won't you remind me of that in about 8 weeks?)

Okay...off to drink my Monday morning coffee and get to work. Shalom!

the 45 stomach.

I used to play soccer. A lot. In high school we had to do something our coach called a "45". We would all line up along the center line of the soccer field, and when he yelled "GO!" we had 45 seconds to run across half the field, around one goal, across the entire field, around the other goal, and across half the field to make it back to the center. And all in 45 seconds. It may sound easy, but it is hard. Especially on the 4th or 5th time. Believe me.

When we would line up for this, I would always get this strange feeling. I call in the 45 stomach. It's like this...you're nervous, excited, anxious, and afraid. You can throw up, laugh, or cry at any moment. It's a really bad feeling and a really good feeling all at the same time.

Today I have the 45 stomach. And for a couple reasons.
1- Tonight is the kickoff for youth group. It is my first time being "in charge", being the "go to" person, and being the one students will refer to as "youth pastor". Yikes.
2- Tomorrow is year 2 of getting my Masters of Divinity. That's right folks, this was a whole year ago. (No worries, Mom. Danny already said he would take my picture tomorrow morning for you!) While I am really excited, I am equally nervous about what this semester will entail. Classes are:

Ethics

Community of God

Pastoral Servant Leadership

Field Education

Sounds fun, huh? I think so too!

So how I will balance being a wife, grad student, youth director, auntie, friend, daughter, exerciser, blogger etc? Ask me again in a few weeks. I'm sure I'll figure it out. Until then, who really knows?

I covet your prayers, friends. So glad I'm not alone in all of this.

PS I am on a dessert fast. For now.

this weekend.

Went on a date with husband.  Dessert only- just fabulous!  And at our restaurant.  The first place we went to on a group outing, before we were we. 

Slept in (really only about 7:30 or 8:00 for us).  Furniture shopped.  Because real-life is so very different than internet (who would've thought?), we ended up getting a different furniture set than planned.  Came home and did the whole carry upstairs, switch clothes from one dresser to another, vacuum all the styrofoam dots, pledge it up, and sit back in awe process.  Our room is so much more...grown up, cohesive, orderly, neat.  They say when a room is orderly one sleeps better throughout the night.  I agree.  So does Danny.

Celebrated a couple birthdays with a wonderful little backyard BBQ.

Church.  Had me in tears.  It's been a rough past few weeks.  A few weeks ago the dad of a couple boys in our youth group passed away.  Then, Saturday night, the mom of one of the sweetest high school girls I have ever met.  Both unexpected.  Both heart breaking.  I've learned a lot...most of it I will share about later.

Visit at my parents and family BBQ at my sister's.  I love it that my mom lives just a few streets down from my sister.  We had a great time just being together.  Kyndall has started walking and talking (one syllables!).  Kevin ate 3 cupcakes.  Taylor got her first  "big sister" dolly from Danny and I.  Mom made a beautiful fruit platter.  My sister is looking fabulous at 6 1/2 months pregnant.  The bro was the grilling master.  I gave away a lot of kisses.  And Danny got a haircut.  (thanks sis)

Mom and I started Christmas shopping.  It's more out of necessity than out of organization.  Danny and I are trying to buy little by little to be nice to our budget.  Bought $140 worth of stuff for $35.  That felt good.

Came home and had a Gilmore Girls marathon with a bowl of popcorn.  (Danny's idea, not mine.)

That is all for now.  And for your viewing pleasure (but mostly my mom's), here is our new bedroom furniture and living room with a couple new additions.

This used to be my night stand.  Actually, it used to be on the side of the road.  Now it is a little side table. :)

Good bye for now.

J&J

Today saw Julie & Julia with mom.  We laughed our way through it, looking at each other, holding hands during the sweet parts, and loving every bit of it.  Left the theatre happy, hungry, and inspired to cook. (and eat!)

So...here's the deal.  When the movie comes out on DVD Dan & I will hold a dinner party at our place.  Bring a course and a bottle of wine and we'll dine through the movie. (which is how I think it should be watched!)  I'm thinking 6 or 7 courses will do.  Want to join us?  Make a mental note and I'll get back to you in a couple months.

Until then, let's all brush up on our cooking skills, shall we?  According to Danny's co-workers, Dan's wife makes the best zucchini bread ever, but I don't think Julia Child would settle for bread as a course.  Oh well, to each her own.

Happy 3-day weekend to you! It's going to be a great one...

bon appetit!

commitments

I know that many of you who read this blog are either in ministry, have been in ministry, or want to be in ministry. To you I say, Hello and welcome and I am glad you are here. I'd like to start sharing my ministry experiences and any tools that can possibly benefit you in discipling and loving and teaching and leading people. I haven't got things all together and I never will, but my heart is to see God capture the heart of teenage students and I'll do whatever it takes for that to happen. So I'll be posting ideas I am having, curriculum I am creating, and things I am doing in my ministry. I hope that you will be able to use them in your ministry or that you will be inspired in some other direction. I really hope we can hold hands and somehow partner together in this journey God is guiding us on. We're not meant to do it alone and I am glad we're not going to try.

Last weekend I took my youth leaders on a little retreat. We took the church van up the mountain for a day of rest and community. Almost didn't make it. About 2 miles away from our destination the van overheated and we were on the side of the road for a good 40 minutes trying to cool it down. It was wretched, but we made a lot of funny memories in the midst of chaos. It never cooled down. So we prayed the last 2 miles and just as we pulled into the driveway the van completely died. Way to fulfill that youth-ministry-smells like crayons-torn ceilings-can't ever make it anywhere without overheating-church-van stereotype.

Anyways, the day was a really, really good one. One of the things that creates community is a history. As a new youth director in this place, I know I need to create opportunities for us as a youth team to make memories. And memories were definitely made. I opened the retreat with a time of prayer and rundown of the day. When we serve, we serve not from ourselves but from the overflow of what God is doing in our lives...This morning we're not going to start with a game or even with training- we're going to start in the presence of God- praising His name and reading His word.

So praise and read we did. Luckily my sweet husband is very talented at leading people in worship. We sang without fear of the person next to us hearing our voice or singing the wrong words. It was very beautiful to me. Then we split up and everyone went to be in silence for an hour. I gave them a guide to follow with Scripture and other readings. (let me know if you'd like it...) We came back together and shared about the things that gave us hope, the things that inspired us in ministry, and even the things our hearts were convicted by. It was great.

Then we ate. At any ministry event I think it's important to have food. Food inspires people. It encourages community. It makes for good conversation. And it's just so good. So we ate and then we ate some more, too.

Then we talked about leadership commitments. I struggled when I wrote them. My biggest fear was that leaders would look at the sheet as a big list of rules. Then I remembered, we don't see the Bible as a big list of rules, but rather standards that we ought to live our lives by. And so it was with these leadership commitments. This list served as a covenant not necessarily between myself and my leaders, but rather between all of us leaders together and God. Because we should be held accountable to our lives and our priorities and our choices. And while ministry is (and should be) a fun and exciting and wonderful opportunity, it is also a huge responsibility. And because I believe we should all be on the same page about what is expected, this is what I asked them to pray over:

UpFront Leadership Commitments

Prayerfully consider the following commitments required for UpFront leaders this year. When you feel you are ready for this opportunity and responsibility, please sign and return to Kaylyn Unterkofler.

I commit to:
-growing in and nurturing my relationship with God
-consistent Bible reading & prayer
-fellowship amongst other believers
-living a lifestyle that communicates my commitment to Christ (1 Peter 2:21)
-being held accountable for my spiritual life
-openly and honestly sharing my struggles
-speaking well of the ministry, responding to direction, positively resolving conflict, and affirming the purpose of the ministry.
-reporting any issue directly to the Director of Student Ministry without speaking negatively to any parent or student
-consistency in attending church youth group services & activities
-arriving early for a time of prayer
-attend training days
-communicating when I’ll be absent
-breaking down any barrier that would keep me from being a part of this community
-striving for unity within leaders and the church as a whole (Eph 4:3)
-sharing my life with those I serve alongside
-take initiative in the lives of students
-ministering to students at any opportunity
-taking an interest in the lives and activities of students
-challenging students in their spiritual growth
-being on the lookout and welcoming new students
-being aware of my ministry “fit” and responding to God’s guidance
-evaluating myself in my leadership role in student ministries

NOTE: Standards must be followed at all times, not just when students are with you. The standards you set upon your own life set the pace for the rest of the ministry. We lead, they follow.


Sign ______________________ Date ___________

And so we went over the commitments, I got a lot of head nods and a lot of smiles, and NO signed papers (because I didn't want them that day). And for the rest of the day we played Apples to Apples and ate some more and laughed and spent extended time in prayer over the upcoming school year.

And don't ask how we ever made it home. God only knows.

All that to say...as a leader in ministry it is important to get your leaders away. Maybe it's for a weekend, maybe it's for a day, maybe it's just for a meal. But talk, pray, read, laugh, eat, remind each other why you're there, and...maybe, just maybe, you'll get a signed paper days later. But even if you don't, you'll create history and you'll help a community be formed.

That is all for today. You can thank the vanilla ice cream.

i tried.

I just wanted to let you know that I have started and deleted about 10 posts today. I guess sometimes you just can't force it.

On another note, we were gifted money by someone very special to us to get new bedroom furniture. We have been looking a long time and finally think this dresser and nightstands will be the ones. We're going tonight to check them out. Anyone else get excited over stuff like this? It gets worse...if I buy a new toothbrush or loofah I can hardly wait to use them. If I could take a shower in the exit doors of Target, I would. It's probably a good thing stores don't let you...you know, get undress and carry around portable showers and stuff.

Anyhow, I do have things to share. Mostly about ministry and being an introvert and starting school again and making meals. Stuff like that. I promise to try again when the inspiration comes. Maybe having a scoop of vanilla tonight will do it for me...

a few favorites.

Grab a cup of coffee, maybe a muffin or scone, and browse the rest on my facebook.  And if we're not yet "friends", let's just remedy that situation immediately, shall we?

I'll be back later to share less of my face and more of my heart.  Happy Wednesday!

PS I have bangs inspired by my lady crush on Zooey Deschanel.

Hold on.

I have a lot to tell you about. It's coming soon!