who i am at 23.

This morning I woke up to a new year. It's called 23. And I think I'm going to like it.

Before the year once again passes like the blink of an eye, I'd like to stop and remember who I am at 23. Because I'll never be here again. It'll pass, too, and I don't want to forget.

So, who I am at 23.

If I could have a constant supply of anything on earth, it would be lemon poppyseed muffins, method cleaning supplies, Hershey's special dark chocolate, warm smelling candles, minty chapstick, fresh mascara, and milky lattes.

I sneeze at least 10 times a day. Every day. I think 23 brings along allergies. It's okay...I sort of like sneezing. The runny nose, though...I could go without that.

I think I've figured out how to combat my frizzy hair. It's taken 23 years but I feel confident about the taming process. Finally.

I love grocery shopping. Always have, always will. But I really love it now that I'm married. Buying things like string cheese and more than one cereal box and, when we feel like a luxury, apple juice makes me remember that I'm buying for more than one.

I've made it to a point that I see my disease thorn as a blessing. It is a reminder of my need for rest and stillness and quiet. And I feel healthy and strong and alive. And yet it is a reminder that I must enjoy today for today and not worry about the future or my ability to have babies or run a marathon or have tan skin. His grace sustains me and that is enough.

My ministry is a blessing. All the time I am discovering new things about the way God has wired me. More than anything, my weaknesses keep me on my knees and I am more reliant than ever on the strength of God. I realize I simply cannot do it alone. I'm afraid I'll have to learn this lesson again next year (and next week, and maybe even tomorrow, too). But at 23 I am feeling balanced, excited, rested, and in anticipation of what's to come.

School is teaching me a lot. Mostly about God and people of the Old Testament and people of the New Testament and people of today. Who knew I could be so passionate about the Second Temple Period and the ethical ramifications of Genesis 2 and hospital ministry? Not me. But my mind is stretched and challenged and happy. I am still in awe of the opportunity I've been given. Year 23 will bring along a little trip to Wisconsin to meet the lovely people who blessed me with this gift. I can hardly wait.

Laughter. I have got to have it. Little chuckles and belly laughs and crying laughs. Luckily I married one of the funniest, most witty men I've ever met who gives me my daily dosage. We laugh at each other and laugh at ourselves. We laugh a lot and it is good. This must continue, even in the midst of term papers and my thesis and ministry mistakes and any other storm that will inevitably come.

Year 23 will bring along more photos. Life is too beautiful not to capture. It will turn from something that slips my mind to something habitual. And a slow iPhoto is no excuse.

Year 23 brings a big personal project. It will take dedication and obedience and perserverance and will also be very pleasing to me. Will tell you about that later in the week.

And year 23 will also mean lots of love. Love to give...love to receive. From God and husband and sisters and brothers and parents and nieces and newphew and babies and friends and family and puppies...oh yes, from puppies. And I will try to love these people well and hard and strong because it's not possible to love too well or hard or strong.

And I will smile. And smell flowers and notice the clouds and snow covered mountains and the brisk air of the morning and the feeling of warm coffee run through my body and take bubbly baths and hold hands and let the word of God soak into my mind and heart and soul and flow out into my actions. And I will appreciate the days I am given because I think God would be pleased to know he has given life to someone who enjoys it.

And this is who I am (and will be) at 23.