my rendition.

My rendition of my favorite childhood book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie...

If You Give Your Professor Your Paper Early...

One day, you'll have a big paper due.  And a few days before that day you'll want to give your professor your paper early.  So you will.  And if you give your professor your paper early, she will tell you your style is "weighted down".  If you ask her what she means, she will make a comment on just about every sentence describing in detail all your faults.  If you add a comma, she'll tell you have splices.  If you take it out, she'll tell you it's become a run-on.  Then she'll tell you your order of words is "awkward".  And when she tries to change it for you she'll tell you she "gave up" and to "work it out" some more on your own.  And if you take offense to her "critique", she'll remind you that it was a REALLY GOOD thing and that she is REALLY GLAD (in CAPS) that you turned in the paper early so you could "fix" all your errors before it's due.  And if you don't want to change anything, she'll probably fail you.  So you'll do it.  And you might tear up.  Or want to delete the whole thing and start completely over.  But that's what you'll get if you give your professor your paper early.

The end.

ps this post can be a.k.a. breakdown #1 of fall 2009