why i'm not afraid anymore

If 7 months ago you would have asked me my biggest fear about entering seminary, I would have responded with this:

I am afraid of mistaking knowledge of God with intimacy with God.

It was a very real fear of mine...that somehow learning and studying would take away from my intimate, deeply personal, and cherished relationship with my Creator.

I was in class last week and something someone said flicked on a light bulb in my head (what a fun sentence!). This fear of mine has completely dissolved. It is a rather beautiful concept, really. I have found that the more I learn about God, the more I realize I am so far from ever grasping his greatness and understanding the depths of who he really is. This makes me fall even more in love with him, then yearn for more knowledge, then come to realize I know nothing, then love him more. and there you have it. It's an ever going cycle.

All that to say, knowledge and intimacy of God are more intertwined that I realized. There is something very beautiful about loving God with my mind, and I am enjoying the process more than I ever imagined.

Now for my list.

11 knowing I am being prayed for

12 light bulbs. literally and figuratively

13 a good, strong handshake

14 forehead kisses

15 successfully taking out a bunt cake from the mold

16 afternoon shadows in the apartment

17 a full cookie jar

18 freshly shaved legs between sheets

19 crossing things off my "to-do" list

20 fabric softener

21 being able to use one paper towel for the whole cleaning job

22 finding the perfect fabric on the sale rack

23 long car rides

24 putting away groceries

25 crock pot cooking

26 an entire day of rain

27 apples with peanut butter

28 refrigerator magnets

29 wearing dresses with tights

30 a neatly stacked cabinet of mis-matched dishes