Our story begins on Thursday, December 22nd. We were scheduled for an induction Friday night at 7:30 pm, so I knew Thursday would be my last day at work. During one of my many trips to the restroom that day, I remember stopping in front of the mirror and inspecting my very pregnant body. I looked at my round belly from all angles and, instead of sulking that I was still pregnant, I thought to myself that I’ve never looked more beautiful. It was an empowering thought and I went throughout my day excited for what lay ahead of me (although I had no idea how soon it would really begin…).
Because I was so overdue (I was due December 12th), I was going in for two non-stress tests a week. Thursday afternoon was one of them. We drove to the hospital and our words were few, knowing that we’d be making this same drive the next day to have our baby. Or so we thought.
It all became pretty clear during my ultrasound. Typically the technician, who had become like an old friend, can find all my pockets of water fairly quickly. This time she took a while, turning her head, and furrowing her brow. Finally she said, You’re only at a 4.6, Kaylyn, you don’t pass. Danny and I stared at each other with wide eyes. We knew what this meant- an automatic trip to labor and delivery. We were going to have our baby! We were both terrified and excited. We had packed the car just in case, but were in no way mentally prepared for what was before us!
As we waited for Room 21 to be cleaned, we sat close together holding hands. Danny snapped a picture of us, pretty much because we didn't know what else to do. My midwife was on shift and it was comforting to have a familiar face in the ward. Danny ran out to the car to grab our bags and I sat there quietly, trying to let it sink in that this was it. I said silent prayers of gratitude and asked for extra provision over the next day. 
Danny came back and we went into our room. It was beautiful and we kept looking around in amazement that this was the room we would be in when we bring our son into the world. I kept looking at the infant warming bed and smiling, knowing my baby boy would soon occupy it. I changed into a gown and lay down. Then we waited…and waited…and waited.
It took a while before things got rolling and the nurse hooked me up to the monitors. As soon as she did she glanced from the monitor screen, to me, and back to the screen. You don’t feel that? she asked. I didn’t. But one glance at the screen and we knew it- I was already in labor. The contractions were coming about 5 minutes apart but weren’t strong enough for me to recognize….yet.
Because I was already in labor, they bypassed the cervix softening process and let me progress on my own. At that time I was dilated to a 4 and was 50% effaced. When Danny and I were left alone in the room we prayed that the Holy Spirit would fill the room with us and that our doctors and nurses would be blessed. We thanked God for our son and asked his provision over us throughout labor.
It wasn’t long until I had to pause during contractions to focus on my breathing. It was getting later and Danny dimmed our lights- something he knew I had wanted. I asked him to turn on my labor mix and I allowed the sounds of The Album Leaf, Damien Rice, Hillsong United, Jon Foreman, Sufjan Stevens, and others to wash over me. It was a beautiful mix of worship, Christmas, and other types of soothing music. All the while, that beautiful, steady and familiar sound of Graham’s heart rate was with us in the room, reminding us that he was on his way.
It wasn’t long before I got on the birth ball, which was a welcome break from lying in bed. I sat on the ball while leaning on the side of the bed. Danny sat behind me and we rocked back and forth in between contractions. He whispered sweet words in my ear and was quiet when I squeezed his hand, letting him know a contraction had started. That time was incredibly romantic- we were working together as one to bring our son into the world.
A doctor soon came in and told me she wanted to put an IV in, but we declined until it was necessary. She then offered to sweep my membranes, which we agreed to since I was still at a 4 and it had been a couple hours. As she was speaking with us, our new nurse started saying Decel! Decel! Our doctor was engaged with us and didn’t respond until the nurse yelled DECEL! DECEL! 3 other nurses and an anesthesiologist quickly ran into the room and if that wasn’t enough to let me know that something was wrong, the doctor let out a four-letter word. Graham’s heart rate had suddenly dropped down to 40.
Immediately our once peaceful room was packed full of people shouting orders. I had oxygen put on me and the doctor yelled at me, Turn on your left side…Turn on your right side…Get on your hands and knees! I obeyed like a fish out of water, flopping in any position I could to get Graham’s heart rate back up. We both were panicked and had tears running down our faces.
The anesthesiologist quickly put in an IV, as it was now necessary. She first blew the vein on the top of my hand, and then found a new one on the inside of my wrist. I had to sign a C-section paper and they explained to me that if they took me I would be put under and Danny wouldn’t be allowed in the room. Danny and I glared at each other and nodded at each other as if to say It’s going to be alright…It was undoubtedly the scariest time of our lives.
What seemed like an hour to us was probably only a few minutes and Graham’s heart rate slowly climbed back up. They kept me on oxygen for the next hour and we were told that nothing would happen until Graham was recovered. So we kept laboring alone, watching and making sure that his heart rate stayed up through contractions. I kept talking to him, telling him he was my sweet boy and to hang in there.
A couple hours later I was checked again and I was still a 4cm. They went in to break my water, but we found that it had already broken while I was on the birth ball. We hadn’t realized it because it wasn’t a typical “gush” because of my low fluids. They pressed on my stomach and released more water, which had meconium in it. Because of this and his heart rate, the doctors started me on a low dose of Pitocin to get things going.
We labored through the night, breathing through the contractions and listening to music. Around 4 o’clock the pain was getting more intense so we called Kym, our doula, and asked her to come within the next hour. Before we knew it she was there and it was the greatest comfort to have her presence in the room. She told Danny to lay down and get some rest and she helped me labor for another hour. She rubbed oil on my temples and reminded me to release the tension in my face during contractions. It was a peaceful time and I was so grateful to have her calming presence there with me.
I got checked again soon and I was dilated to 6 cm, which made us all very happy. Things were progressing! The contractions were coming more quickly and were more intense. We talked Danny into getting himself and Kym breakfast and we welcomed a new day over breakfast sandwiches.
Danny and Kym stood on either side of me and held my hands through contractions. In between contractions my room was lively and we talked and laughed, but they were respectful of the silence I craved during those consistent peaks of pain. The doctor came in again soon and I was still a 6. They checked again 1 ½ hours later and I hadn’t progressed. After nearly 7 hours of intense laboring, I hadn’t dilated any more and my effacement was still at 50% and Graham was still at the -1 position. On top of everything, I had developed a fever in the 102’s. Needless to say, I was getting tired and discouraged.
A doctor came in and told me it looked like a C-section was imminent. I cried- this was my greatest fear. Then I started thinking…although I went into this labor wanting a medicine-free birth, we had already been on Pitocin for hours. I asked the doctor if I could get an epidural, hoping that it would relax my body into getting further along. He was hesitant, but agreed and said he’d be back in an hour to check me.
I got the epidural, which was not the greatest process. I sat on the side of my bed and bent my hugely pregnant body all the way over, all the while breathing and moaning through contractions that were coming every minute. It was a ten-minute ordeal and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Once he was finished I laid back down and let the medicine do its work. I was very grateful, though, to be able to move my legs and feel my feet.
At some point during the morning we discovered that our new nurse was a Christian, so we invited her to pray with us. If things didn’t start progressing, we knew a C-section would be our only option, so Danny, Kym, and our nurse surrounded me and we prayed that my body would relax and open up and that I would be able to deliver naturally. We were very hopeful and we spent that next hour in the stillness of the room, waiting in anticipation of what was to come.
When the doctor came in again our excitement grew. We were ready to hear good news! She did my exam and reported the update: I was still only 6 cm and -1 station, but my effacement was around 80%. We were all crushed. This was not the progress that we needed. She started discussing the C-section plans but we cut her off. Please, please give us one more hour, we pleaded. She left the room and we waited more.
While Kym and Danny rested, I felt increased pressure. I was getting very uncomfortable and I couldn’t wait for the doctor to come back. While I was convinced something was happening, I also tried to prepare myself for a C-section, which was inevitable if my body was still stalled out.
Before we knew it a new doctor was in our room and he was friendly and even joked with us for a minute. We immediately felt comfortable around him and I told him Please give us good news… He did his check without saying a word, finished, and stepped back. You’re complete. I had never heard this term, so I asked him what he meant. You’re 10 cm, 100% effaced- it’s time to push!
You should have heard our room erupt. I immediately burst into tears and Kym bent down and kissed my forehead. Danny and Kym hugged and I think the nurse even joined the party. Then my sweet husband, who was crying as well, bent down and gave me a big kiss. It’s time, honey! We squeezed each other tight and laughed and breathed out huge sighs of relief. It really was time…
The room was aglow with the light of mid-day and it soon became busy as our nurses and midwife made some preparations. I asked Danny for my Bible and read through Psalm 26, a portion of Scripture that had given me great joy and peace throughout the previous weeks. Although I was physically exhausted (it was 1:30 pm on Friday at this point), I felt strong and confident and so ready to bring my boy into the world.
Kym quickly reminded me how to breathe during my pushes. Minutes later, with the peak of a contraction, I pushed for the first time. Kym was on my left and Danny was on my right, each holding one of my legs and encouraging me to push Harder! and Stronger! and One more time! It was an empowering experience as I felt Graham move lower. I was doing this!
This continued for 40 minutes. I pushed every other contraction. They asked if I wanted a mirror and I said no, for fear that it would distract me from my task. Instead I focused on Danny’s face, looking for any sign of progress as I screamed, red-faced for minutes at a time. There is one point of time that will be forever etched into my memory. Danny saw Graham’s head. His eyes were wider than I’ve ever seen them and his mouth, though wide open, was smiling in amazement and awe.
They all cheered me on and reported that he had a lot of dark hair, something that surprised both Danny and me. I reached down and felt his head. It was a beautiful reminder that he was on his way, that I had brought him this far, and that I could finish this task.
Moments later I felt intense pressure and pushed as hard as I possibly could. All of a sudden they told me to Stop! and Wait! The midwife rushed in and got suited up and it took everything inside of me to stop pushing. I started pleading with everyone in the room and explained to them that I couldn’t possibly wait any longer. I had to push!
Just as I was getting frantic, I finally got the okay and with one more push I felt his head come out. I pushed one more time and felt his body come out- it was 2:25 pm. They put him on my stomach right away and I immediately touched his back and head- our first real skin-to-skin. Danny and I both cried as we welcome him into the world.
Because of the meconium in my water, the NICU team had to take him to the warmer seconds later. He didn’t cry for a good few minutes- his first Apgar was only a 4. As the team turned him, suctioned him, and spanked his bottom, Danny stood alongside and spoke sweet words to him. Come on, Graham, let out a cry! and We love you Graham! and Welcome to the world! Danny kept reporting things to me like He is so beautiful- he looks just like you! and His fingers are so long! and He smells so good! We were both crying and kept making eye contact to reassure each other that everything was okay.
And it was, of course. He let out a little whimper and just like that the team left the room. Danny cut Graham’s cord like a proud papa. Then they quickly weighed him in at 7 lbs, 10 oz before returning him to my chest so we could be skin to skin. This was the first time I saw Graham’s sweet face and I immediately fell deeper in love that I ever thought possible. Danny stood next to me and we kept looking from our son, to each other, and back again.
Many things happened the next couple hours…I delivered the placenta, I was given a few little stitches, I was given medicine and fluids to reduce my fever, and I laid there completely exhausted…but honestly, the only thing that I really remember is touching, smelling, kissing, and talking to our baby boy. I was a momma now. Danny was a daddy. We were so in love.
I will never forget December 23, 2011- the day we brought our sweet Graham Lewis into the world. Life will never, ever be the same…
